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inspiration intrigued by the 3cc3ntr1c, h1ghly 1nt3ll1g3nt c0mb1nat10n of 3x0t1c b3auty, tal3nt & charm... me,myself & I dominant, spontaneously creative, seemingly ambitious, blessed with powerful intelligence, philosophically broad...faults as large as virtues, displays extreme arrogance, autocratic pride, haughtiness, excessive temper hastiness... wishlist N72,PS2,Maxtor HDD, New Computer... infatuations gam3(s): webbie(s):shoewawa author(s): Candace Bushnell movie(s): Hoodwinked |
Tuesday, November 16, 2004interesting I'm sure many of you have read the article in The Star Metro published recently entitled "Taiwanese men most preferred husbands-to-be". It was a short news piece on how finding Vietnamese brides for foreign men has become a full-fledged industry in Vietnam because they are known to be "conservative, hardworking, obedient and gentle". While Malaysian men were quoted to be a minority in this endeavour, the majority of the grooms was said to be from Taiwan, followed then by Singapore. It was also mentioned in the article that "…Malaysian men are choosy and pay the least, they are known as genuinely looking for love and companionship." Obedience, a conservative and gentle countenance, an affinity towards hard work (which I assume to be in the tune of household duties and not really your career/corporate-climbing type of hard work) - wow. I didn't really think that there were still women out there with more than two of these attributes these days, much less ALL of them. Is this why I had so much trouble looking for a husband before I was married? All the while I thought that the fact that I was not much to look at (something that hasn't improved with time), and a bit on the LARGE side, were my only problems. Here, 14 dating years later, I discover that all I had to do was to be more obedient, conservative, gentle and hard working. Which century are we living in? It seems as though singles of opposite sex in the region are going in opposing directions, time-wise, when looking for love. Perhaps this is why so many single women out there in Malaysia are still single - the men are already seeking elsewhere, like in Vietnam (and they complain about those of us going out with Mat Sallehs!). Here we are, modern women of the 21st century, searching for men who look good, are successful, responsible, in touch with their feelings (although not TOO much), know how to show a woman a good time (in bed and otherwise) and treat them with respect, while the men themselves are already finding that submissive someone who, as it turns out, doesn't need all these things. She just wants a roof over her shoulder and an income for her ageing parents. A better life. Not true love. Just a better life. Aren't we all? I cannot help but wonder: Have the single (and seeking) women of Malaysia lost sight of what's important when it comes to finding that special someone? Is this why some of us fail, relationship after relationship today, because our expectations have become too high? Are we deluding ourselves, having been fed too much tube entertainment and romantic hogwash from women's magazines and romance novels about what our ideal men should be like, when all we should want is what we NEED - a better life? What is a better life to the average modern Malaysian woman? A good job. A good man. A good address. Some of us, having failed in so many attempts at the second goal, settle for perhaps any type of man. Some of us give up entirely, letting - no, asking, really - nature to take its course. Some of us even turn lesbian to perhaps deal with the pain and/or increase our chances. Ironically, it seems as though if our needs are reduced to having to marry or just to BE with someone (for money) for survival, our choices become much easier. Strike out the good job, the good man, or maybe even the good address. Food on the table and a life of blissful ignorance. How much simpler can it get? I guess it all comes with the territory of progress (although some of the men seem to be regressing with their social preferences). We must thank all the powers that be that these are not our options. With higher education and better opportunities, more of us may have more complex choices to make, but we are better equipped to make them. Or the fact that we can make them at all. Yes, being hard working with the household chores, gentle and conservative - these can be traits we can still hold on to - excepting only blind obedience, of course. In fact, I believe many Malaysian women (and Taiwanese AND Singaporean) DO have these attributes and more. What isn't mentioned perhaps is the fact that these women have also themselves become choosy and require more of what is today called emotional 'maintenance'. Perhaps these Taiwanese, Singaporean and Malaysian men just can't be bothered with what we call progress. If this is so, why blame us for looking elsewhere? came across this article by Jennifer Tai at the MSN mainpage about half an hour ago. I must have been so d-e-t-a-c-h-e-d from reading the news these few days/weeks til I missed the article that she was talking about...hehe Men are said to be looking for "conservative, hardworking, obedient and gentle" women to marry ~ seriously, has this really been going on? the first thing that came to mind was "oh come on....u've got to be kiddin' me".... what's even more interesting is that the Vietnamese has turned finding of brides for foreign men an INDUSTRY...hehe...Vietnamese girls are said to have all the above spoken qualities...that's why they're preferred nowadays...goodness I would really agree with what Jennifer T writes in her article...love the way she writes...it's alwiz fun to read about her experiences and thoughts... anywayz...don't understand why s0me men would think that way....mayb they just prefer simple-minded girls....but are girls over here that complicated? mayb girls over here are starting to demand just as much as guys....can't stand equality mayb...LOL... believe me, I have met quite a many of guys who....yeap....CANNOT stand equality...pretty pathetic I know but u wouldn't really say it in front of them unless you're real close to them ... actually, being close with them makes it even worse...it hurts their damn PRIDE... hehehe I wonder...*smiling* ####### |
Haunts ... ay@ archive 21 Dec '03 28 Dec '03 Year 2004 on air! ...Chris Botti copyright of Cyn
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